a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
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running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
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Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same