Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence