Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date