I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize