I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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