yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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