The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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