OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
