I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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