You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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