break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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