I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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