WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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