Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize