we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize