it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
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The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
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First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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