Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
