Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
