I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
