i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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