the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
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As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
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They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I touched a dick in church today
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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