and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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