Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
