I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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