so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
