wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You need Xanax blowdarts
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
