I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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