You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
