You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
