Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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