at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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