Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
