i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
