Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
