how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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