we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
