ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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