Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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