i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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