why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
