It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
