Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
