Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
