Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
