dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
