He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
