My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
