The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
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Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
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Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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