I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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