What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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