I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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