Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize