I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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