Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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