I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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