How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
