if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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