WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
