I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
