I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
