She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
They have beer where we have blood.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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