Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
