no, he came in my armpit
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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