Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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